


Like Some Sort Of Terrible Karmic Game Of Whack-A-Mole

by SilverWing15



Series: I'm Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Help Me [7]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Hell yeah fam Dream POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28121799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWing15/pseuds/SilverWing15
Summary: It was a good joke, at first.It was fun, at first.Only here’s the thing:Phil’s little godlings are really starting to become a thorn in his side because the little shits just won’t stay dead.
Series: I'm Writing Fanfiction About Block Men God Help Me [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057121
Comments: 14
Kudos: 462
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	Like Some Sort Of Terrible Karmic Game Of Whack-A-Mole

It was a good joke, at first.

It was fun, at first. 

Killing Phil’s precious little children was a good way to rile him up. It’d been boring around here with everyone just cowering away from him. Nobody was greedy enough to try and make a deal, nobody was fool enough to try and steal something. Nobody would even come within ten miles of anywhere he was rumored to be for _months_. 

Then Phil’s little ducklings showed up and had the audacity to plant their dinky little flag in the heart of his territory. It was _hilarious_. 

So Dream pushes back a bit, he gets a few of the people that he’s not been bored enough to kill to wreak a little havoc. He makes grand speeches and gives ultimatums and turns one of their little friends against them. Its _great!_

This is the most fun he’s had in _centuries_ he’s loving it, really. 

But eventually it, like everything else gets boring. They keep trying to run this like some boring mortal city. Like they’re not greater than mortals even if they’re not as great as Dream yet. So Dream pokes his nose in it again, he goes out and finds some abandoned little godling and gets him all puffed up with pride and greed and arrogance and lets him loose on their little city. 

Its the funniest thing to watch Phil’s children flee from their own city. To watch their flag get burnt by Wilbur’s _own son_ to have Tubbo actually _stick around_ and _work with his brother’s enemy_. 

He has even more fun playing with Wilbur and Tommy while they’re off in exile. Stars, turning Wilbur insane hardly takes any effort, he could have just sat back and not touched the boy and he’d have taken the first train to crazy-town. 

Its all too easy for a being of his caliber to get ahold of enough TNT to level a city. 

Watching Technoblade level a crossbow at his own baby brother and pull the trigger for a shot that would kill a mortal but only wound a godling? _Hilarious_. Dream watches from the distance and grins when Technoblade turns ever so slightly to keep him in sight. He is interesting, old enough and smart enough to not bore Dream. 

Chaotic enough to level a few villages of his own--but really he takes far too much after his father, he puts as many villages back together as the ones he levels--but smart enough to know that this little city the godlings have whipped up won’t last. Can’t last. 

Dream will not have any half grown _brats_ trying to take his territory, trying to name themselves _‘president’_ in his territory. Eret is one thing, because he knows that while he has a castle and a title, they’re both as hollow as his crown. But the godlings trying to organize themselves? That’s _boring_. That’s not something that Dream will allow. 

But then _Phil_ shows up and he has to ruin _all_ the fun. He kills the one who’s been made president. Dream can hardly remember his name at this point but that doesn’t _matter_ he was _Dream’s_ , he wasn’t done playing with him. 

So he decides that he’ll take a few of Phil’s toys in exchange. Its Phil killing his own son-- _utterly sidesplitting that, the funniest thing Dream’s seen in ages_ \--that gives him the idea really. One by one, Phil can lose his ‘sons’ and then he’ll really be angry, and Dream will be entertained. 

Only here’s the thing: 

Phil’s little godlings are really starting to become a thorn in his side because the little shits just _won’t stay dead_. 

First Wilbur is dead, all well and good. Dream turns his attention to Tommy--that one gets a bit annoying, its really more trouble than its worth. As much fun as it was to have Phil’s little boy clinging to him like he was his only friend in the world, it was also just pathetic and Dream had to keep himself from offing the little shit then and there several times. Then, finally, Tommy manages to get rid of himself. He vanishes out of Dream’s senses and that’s that. 

Dream rewards himself with a visit to Phil and plans to turn his attention onto the brats that are left. He’s kind of reluctant to kill Technoblade because he has the potential to be interesting, but he really is too much like his father in the end. Dream will at least give him a chance to fight. 

The littlest one, Tubbo, though. Well, he always was so very close to dear Tommy, they were practically twins. In life, and in death. 

But _then_ Tommy pops back up! 

Its _hilarious_. He’s somehow still alive, and there’s no way that anyone could hide that from Dream but Phil. 

The game is already on. 

_But then_ , just when he’s finished visiting Tubbo for now--he’ll be harder to get rid of than Tommy. He isn’t locked away under Dream’s control, but Dream knows--in a vague, abstract sort of way--that leadership is a stressful sort of job. He’ll get there eventually. 

Only! 

_Only!_

Now _Wilbur_ is fucking alive _too_. 

Its so _funny_ how these little shits keep popping back up. 

Dream laughs to himself as he tries to figure out how he missed this, how he’s going to fix this. The score is 0-2. He’s _losing._

_He’s losing to Phil and his little brats_. 

_Hilarious._

**Author's Note:**

> Dream, thru gritted teeth: I'm having So Much Fun


End file.
